As told by his mum Bec

Before I become pregnant I had thought little about how I wanted to bring my baby into the world. I had had little experience in the world of pregnancy, birth and babies so was embarking on a very steep learning curve.

One of my friends had had a home birth, another a hospital birth. Both seemed content with their choices although I feel that both had made their choices with little investigation into other options. Being a heath professional I knew the value of conventional medicine. I also knew enough about birth to know that sometimes things don't quite go to plan and that medical intervention is required. I also knew that hospitals are generally places for 'sick' people and as pregnancy is not an illness I didn't want to have a baby in such an environment. To have a pregnancy test confirmed by a doctor, attend a few appointments and when the time came to have the baby go to hospital and a few days later go home with a new baby, having had little time to absorb and reflect upon one of the most amazing experiences of my life, didn't seem like the right way to approach birth. My friend who had made the choice of home birth had employed a midwife for all her peri-natal care. This idea appealed to me. One person who by the time of the birth of my baby would know me well, who would know my husband, James' and my wishes for the birth of our baby. Someone that if things didn't go to plan could advocate for us. Someone that we could both trust. I also liked the idea that birth could happen at home in your own environment surrounded by things that were comforting and familiar.

Despite all this neither James or I felt ready for a home birth. I just could not picture myself giving birth in our home. For some reason the idea of it made me feel very claustrophobic. We did however desperately want to be able to curl up in our bed together with our new baby for the first night together as a family and not be interupted by institutional routines such as meal times and shift changes.

Once I had become pregnant I began to spend time thinking about the path we would take. I tried to envisage the birth. The people that would be there, where it would happen. I knew I didn't want many people present, James of course and perhaps just one other, the midwife. I wanted to be calm and peaceful. I wanted to keep our baby close. I needed to feel safe. I needed my own space. I needed control of my environment. I wanted to feel that when our baby arrived that James, our baby and I were the most special people in the world and that everything around us had stopped, just for a moment.

Another issue that played on my mind was that both our families lived interstate. I was feeling very aware that I wouldn't have that extra support of my Mum during my pregnancy.

With all these and many more dreams and ideas in our minds went in search of the perfect birth choice for us.

At about six weeks into my pregnancy I began feeling unwell, just the usual morning sickness. This was soon followed by progressingly worse episodes lower abdominal pain. Having never really experienced period pain this was very difficult to manage and also quite frightening. I went to the local doctor who told me unless it was associated with bleeding I needn't worry. I then went for my first ultrasound and saw our little blob and saw and heard his heart beat. The sonographer was very efficient and capable but did not bounce around the room and cry with excitement on seeing our baby. Just another obstetric ultrasound for the day.

On going back to the GP she began to ask about the antenatal path we wished to take. I'm sure I just sat there with a blank face. I asked her many questions about the options in the area in which I lived. She really only offered me two choices - public or private. I didn't have to make a decision for a few weeks yet, so I asked her to let me know if she came across any other options. Sadly I never heard any more.

By 16 weeks I had booked myself into the hospital and had attended my first antenatal visit. We had asked about the antenatal options available but our questions weren't answered satisfactorily. We were made to feel as if we had too many questions and should just learn to go with the flow. We were told about being private or public, the doctors antenatal clinic, the midwives clinic and that was about it. James and I had a tour of the labour ward and both left feeling a little uneasy. Something didn't feel quite right. I tried to put it out of my head. Women have babies in this environment every day and come out safe and happy at the other end. I thought perhaps I was just being a princess and wanted to be treated as such. No boring everyday normal birth for me.

I felt that by following this path there was no opportunity to cherish and celebrate my pregnancy and birth. It seemed a soulless approach to a monumental and miraculous event that every second of which should be savoured. I had been titled as a 'uncomplicated pregnancy and was therefore able to attend the 'midwives clinic'. This meant I would only be seen by midwives throughout my pregnancy. This idea appealed to me as it reflected my belief that doctors didn't need to be involved unless there were complications. I still however felt that something was missing from my pre natal care.

Unfortunately at 21 weeks I had a car accident and spent the night in Accident and Emergency at the hospital where I was attending the midwives clinic. It was this hospital stay that made me realise I needed to investigate another option.

I had remembered passing a sign on the way to work one day for a birth education and research centre. The sign was now gone and I really didn't know anything more about this place or how to contact them. Somehow I located the phone number I think from the local paper, rang and left a message. My phone call was soon returned by Santo, a woman who little did I know then would change my life. During our conversation Santo made me feel important. She listened and answered my many questions and clarified the assortment of information I had been given over the last few months and understood the desires I had for my pregnancy care and birth. It came at a time where I was feeling very lost and misunderstood. I was trusting my instincts about the path I wished to follow but was not getting the answers or support I was looking for. I made a time to meet Santo and Lynne to talk about things at length. I couldn't ring James quick enough to tell him about the wonderful place I had found.

On reflection words that come to my mind about Cooper's birth include release, relief, calm, warm, safeness, empowerment, completeness.